Thursday, October 16, 2008

Among The Porcupines

I love memoirs. I can't get enough of them. I would write one myself if I didn't think it would hurt so many people. I just read Among The Porcupines by Carol Matthau. She was married to writer William Saroyan twice and then to Walter Matthau. I knew nothing about her until I read the book. Best friends with Gloria Vanderbilt and Truman Capote. Fascinating person. My favorite parts are below:

"He knew the truth and was looking for something better." ~ a line from William Saroyan's play Jim Dandy

This is Carol writing about leaving Bill Saroyan:

"I knew that when I finally left Bill, it was not because of anything he did to me. It was because I realized what I would have had to become to remain his wife and that created a head-on collision with all that I had always wanted for myself. I knew I would have to put the knife in him before he got it in me. I knew that I would have to be alert and armed with poison. I had to get there first.

But the thought of spending a marriage being ready with my dagger in order to defend against the dagger that was ready for me made me know how much I had to leave him, how quickly and suddenly.

I don't think marriages break up because of what you do to each other. They break up because of what you must become in order to stay in them."

The book is very "old New York" and old Hollywood and deals with a lot of the themes I like. No one should have to become anything less than everything they are to stay in a relationship with anyone. This includes friendship, work, love, everything.

Leo Buscaglia once said "Accept me for myself or not at all. Any other arrangement is cheating both of us." I would hate to cheat anyone out of knowing the real me :) so I won't.


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