Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sarah Palin's shoes

This is how you know the media is sexist... They have all been showing photos of Sarah Palin's red, open-toe shoes that she wore when John McCain introduced her as his running mate. When was the last time you saw a photo of Obama's shoes, or George Bush's shoes, or Al Gore's shoes? I mean, they were cute shoes, but completely irrelevant as far as the election goes.
Sent from my BlackBerry

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Site of the Week

http://www.fark.com/

HILARIOUS. And I'm not just saying that because they're paying me to say it, because they most certainly are not, but they can if they want to. I won't mind.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Michelle Obama / Hillary Clinton

It's been amazing watching both of these women in action. To see such intelligence and poise and enthusiasm on the convention stage has been something else. I can't wait to hear Bill speak tonight. I miss him :(

Monday, August 25, 2008

Animal Cruelty

If you run a dog fighting ring, I think you should automatically go to jail... for life. No questions asked. No second chances. Can you tell I'm watching Animal Cops Detroit?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

David Blaine at it again

Is it wrong that all I can think of is "this will be hell on traffic?"

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b25521_david_blaine_gets_all_wired_up.html

The Good Stuff

Was in East Haven again last night with Kara and her family. This time my parents came and everyone had a great time. Lots of food (as always), great people, plenty of beverages, lots of kids, pets, sun, stories, songs. All the good stuff. Sometimes life hands you the opposite of lemons. And you have to make... um... whatever the opposite of lemonade is. I think it's beer.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Amazing

Pepperoni Hot Pockets Recalled

Nestle Prepared Foods is recalling certain Hot Pockets Pepperoni Pizza stuffed sandwiches because some may contain pieces of plastic.

That's all you really need to know...

Brian Andreas

If you've never heard of Brian Andreas, you're missing out...

www.storypeople.com

Bad Argument
I don't believe in love, he said & I nodded & said I'd heard that argument before & it always ends badly & he couldn't think of another thing to say.
~ Brian Andreas

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I forgot to tell everyone

The other day I heard a meteorologist call hurricanes "swirly." I think I've finally found a job I could possibly do.

This is why I hate people

Kara and I were out to dinner last night, seated next to a table of crazy older women. The women asked every single member of the waitstaff if there was flour in the lobster bisque (after they had ordered them and had them delivered to their table.) The waitstaff wasn't sure, so they said they would check with the chef, which they did. When their waiter came back to let them know the verdict, one woman loudly berated him for not knowing every ingredient of every dish they served. Very high and mighty. I wanted to throw my drink in her face. She then proceeded to pick her teeth with her fingernail, talk about having affairs on trains, and counsel another woman on how to get rid of a pesky neighborhood cat - (drown it in a bucket.) You stay classy, Sunset Grille patron.

Listen to this song

and try to not have an amazing day after hearing it:

Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Go to itunes and preview it. It's so great.

Speechless

www.dmband.com

Saturday, August 16, 2008

These are amazing


Stuff White People Like

This site is hilarious if you have a sense of humor. If you don't have a sense of humor, you will be offended or (even worse) you just won't get it at all...

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

Friday, August 15, 2008

Recent favorite quotes

These need to stop living on my facebook page, so now they're going to live here. Welcome to your new home, recent faves:

"This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again"
~ Regina Spektor

"If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies."

Moynihan said to Tim Russert about the Ivy League hotshots in the Senator’s office; “What they know, you can learn. What you know, they can never learn.”

"I'll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours."
~ Bob Dylan

"You're maudlin and full of self-pity. You're magnificent."
~ Addison De Witt

"And we danced too wild, and we sang too long, and we hugged too hard, and kissed too sweet, and threw back our heads and howled just as loud as we wanted to howl, because by now we were all old enough to know that what looks like crazy on an ordinary day looks a lot like love if you catch it in the moonlight."
~ Pearl Cleage

Sam Craig: [Sam and Tess are both mildly drunk. Tess's head is resting on Sam's chest in the cab] There's something I have to get off my chest...
Tess Harding: [starts to get up] I'm too heavy...
Sam Craig: [smiles] No. I love you.
Tess Harding: You do?
Sam Craig: Positive.
Tess Harding: [sighs] That's nice. Even when I'm sober?
Sam Craig: Even when you're brilliant.
~ Probably the best Hepburn/Tracy dialogue ever, from the movie Woman of the Year

Crocs

These things are a huge hit in Maine. I don't understand. I just don't get it. I'm afraid to try them on because I know I will love them too and then you won't be able to pry them off my cold, dead feet. Just like Uggs. I resisted Uggs for so long, and then once I finally tried them on and bought them, I wouldn't wear anything else. I started wearing them to work, for chrissake. Inappropriate. But Crocs are hideous. The colors are awful. They are plastic shoes. Maine residents SWEAR by this footwear. I need to stay far, far away from Crocs.

Silent Raves

I just read about "silent raves" and now my head is spinning around. No music. You bring your own iPod and dance around in a room full of other people wearing their own iPods. Isn't that basically just the streets of New York, but even more crowded, annoying and awkward? Who comes up with this stuff, and why am I not making money off of my stupid ideas too?

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Well who the hell is then?!


Beer Tent - First Pour

Warning: This will only be funny/meaningful/nostalgic if you understand the significance of the "first pour." Apologies for the terrible video quality. I took the video on my phone and if I had turned the light on, everyone would have shattered their glasses :) All hail to the Chief.

Monday, August 11, 2008

What a coincidence

I knew I liked those cats.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Typical

My dad has given up on dealing with the women and he's turned his attention to cats. This is our favorite stray. And by stray I mean my dad.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Yes they did!

Best license plate ever. It's just too bad it's not a Massachusetts plate!

Friday, August 8, 2008

Disgusting beauty

As beautiful as this beach is, it's suddenly always being closed by the Dept of Health. Scary. I hope the turkey is okay.

Stranger things have happened

Just saw that Clay Aiken is a daddy and his son was born at 8:08 on 8.8.08. What kind of a crazy world is this? I feel like we just got punk'd.

-- Sent from Gmail for mobile mobile.google.com

Olympics 8.8.08

My dad loves the Olympics. This morning he said he's "not so much an Opening Ceremonies person" but he loves the games. I can tolerate the games, but I'm not that into them. Mom doesn't know how she feels about the Olympics. She needs to think about it. She just said, "They have a lot of dragons over there, right?" And she hears the food is horrible. We have a reporter friend that's over there and she's been sick since she got there weeks ago. Poor thing. What sport should I be watching? I do like that Phelps kid :)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Darkness and Light

This is the quote of the day, and I love it:

To have darkness behind me, in front of me a / bright sky, flickering lights on the water, and to feel / On the stony face the southern sun.

—Julia Hartwig

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Random quotes from Grateful Dead night at a bar downstairs

Kara: "The Barcelona sign has a bull and a bull guy."
Jen: "A matador?"
Kara: "Yes."

Kara: "Meanwhile, the Grateful Dead is trying to drive me crazy."

Kara, hands folded in lap: "How do you rent videos these days?"

Kara: "Maybe people will start liking us as characters."

Jen: "You know me. Three in, three out."
Kara: "Just like your dates."

Jen: "Who's the mean person in Inspector Gadget?"
Kara: "I remember Penny. Gargamoyl?"
Jen: "Gargamel?"
Kara: "I know, that's the Smurfs. I know what a gargamoyl is."
Jen: "No, you know what a gargoyle is."

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Lucy

This is my friend's dog. I think she looks like the Snuggle detergent bear. This is your moment of cuteness for the day.



Now get back to work.

Old movies

Been watching a lot of old movies lately. The Seven Year Itch with Marilyn Monroe, Desk Set with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, His Girl Friday with Cary Grant. They don't make movies like this anymore. Incidentally, His Girl Friday is one of the first (if not the first) movies to have the actors "talking over each other" for a more realistic sound. Before, the actors always waited until the previous actor's lines were finished before beginning with their own. Interesting tidbit. Mr. Big looks an awful lot like Cary Grant. I think those Sex and the City casting people knew what they were doing.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Writing

"Writing of the past is a resurrection; the past then lives in your words and you are free."

—Jessamyn West

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Things that make you go hmm...


Springsteen in the rain - aftermath

Well, it was interesting, to say the least. The man (and the band) puts on a hell of a show. We got PUMMELED by rain and even some hail. At one point, it was coming down in sheets and we couldn't see. Even our lame ponchos didn't keep us dry. Once Springsteen came on stage, however, all was forgotten and forgiven. Three hours later, we were happy and tired :)



Best shirt at the concert, by far:

Springsteen in the rain - aftermath

The man (and the band) puts on a hell of a show. We got PUMMELED by rain and even some hail. At one point it was coming down in sheets and we couldn't see. Even our lame ponchos didn't keep us dry. Once Springsteen came on stage, however, all was forgotten and forgiven. Three hours later, we were happy and tired :)

Best shirt at the concert, by far:



Ugh, you can say that again.

Here's the write-up on the concert from backstreets.com. I couldn't have said it any better:

AUGUST 3, FOXBORO, MA: THE RAIN BEEN COMIN' DOWN
Another U.S. concert goes into the midnight hour, with the Gillette Stadium show not starting until 9:20, again with "Summertime Blues." Weather, not traffic, was the culprit this time, with a huge storm drenching the surroundings -- Bruce told the crowd, "We were dodging lightning bolts coming up here for about an hour and a half!" But after delaying the start until one last downpour was through, there was no rain for the entirety of the show (unless you count water running off the stage roof into the pit). And as Bruce said after "Spirit," "I think a little rain agrees with you guys."

It was a shorter show compared to the three nights in Jersey, not quite cracking the three-hour mark, and judging by the cross-offs on the handwritten setlist (including an unplayed "Racing in the Street" after "Mary's Place"), it seemed Bruce had to put some effort into how to trim the show a bit. But they still blew way past Gillette's 11:00 curfew, rocking "Rosalita" until ten past 12. In between, it was another party show -- all release, little tension -- with even more granted requests than usual bringing a pair of tour-debut covers and more rarities to set this night apart.
The biggest mind-blower came after "Tunnel of Love," as Springsteen collected signs and complimented their "professionalism." One in particular made him chuckle: "The band will not be ready for this one... oh, they will not be ready!" It was "Little Latin Lupe Lu," a song they've only done a couple of times since the '70s -- and as opposed to some sign requests that probably would get played anyway, there's no way Bruce would have called this one up otherwise. But it seemed the band was ready after all, the song sounded great -- and the professionalism of the sign sure didn't hurt Bruce's performance. As he pointed out, the sign had the "Lupe Lu" lyrics printed on the back (in a Bruce handwriting font, no less) with "Key of F" written at the top. "That's appreciated!" he laughed, and he wasn't kidding -- he made sure to have the words where he could see.

"Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street" (its second tour performance) and "Hungry Heart" followed, both by request, and then it was another cover special for the occasion. Not "Dirty Water" -- though there was plenty of that on the ground -- but another one almost as foreseeable: "Who'll Stop the Rain." Bruce sent it out to Bill Belichick: "This is for the coach. He's out there tonight. He didn't bring a sign, though!"

Unusually, Bruce gathered more signs as the encore began, and kicked it off with another fan choice: "We have here the rarely played and even more rarely requested..." and he turned the sign around to reveal "I'm Goin' Down." That was another second tour performance, going into "Jungleland," by request for a birthday in the crowd. Thinking of nearby Boston, Bruce asked before "American Land," "Do we have any Irishmen out there?" The tepid response must have reminded him that this wasn't Boston, though, as at the end of the song he hollered, "Boston! Massachussets! Rhode Island! Connecticut! Wherever the fuck we are! You've just seen..." And on this night, it might have been a little late, but you could add rain-stoppin' E Street Band to the list.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Springsteen in the rain

Going to see Springsteen today in the rain. I don't have a raincoat and realized the last time I even wore one was in 6th grade (mine was purple, Erin's was blue.) So, I just did what any resourceful girl would do - I put on a bikini top and a tank top and packed everything else I own in a bag "just in case." I'll just pretend I'm swimming. Actually, at the rate the rain is coming down, I might not have to pretend.

This should be interesting.

Friday, August 1, 2008

What my teachers said

Since I have ADHD, I am lucky enough to have an entire file outlining what my teachers thought about me. I'm looking through it right now and laughing my ass off. Here are some excerpts:

"Jen's attitude is inconsistent. She tends to be moody on some days and very cooperative on others. She talks too much to her classmates, which is sometimes disruptive."
-- Um, I have news for this teacher. I hated her.

"When Jen gets frustrated, she shuts down!
Claims "I can't get this!"
Has asked to stay for extra help... then doesn't show up!
Said several times she forgot!"
-- Yeah, you use too many exclamation points. You should have been medicated.

"Good, except for a little too much talking and the need to put on makeup in the middle of the class."
-- I'm not kidding. It really says this.

"She should try to become more of a leader. Her talent warrants it."
-- I knew I should have been teaching this class.

From 8th grade:

"A decent year that has seen some moments of difficulty that she has handled with greater confidence as the year progressed. She must remember to seek help when necessary and not dig her own holes of despair."
-- Um, for a minute there I thought he was talking about 2008...

"Sometimes too social, but not to a degree yet that it is a problem."
-- Oh, just you wait!

"Enjoys socializing a little too much. She is concerned about work when reminded."
Oh right... thanks for the reminder. I should probably get a job.

"Jennifer has quit chorus. If she had not quit I would have asked her to leave. She was constantly socializing and she paid little attention to directions."
-- Once someone quits, you can't ask them to leave. Loser.

From 6th grade:

"Occassionally she will get a little silly but it can be controlled."
-- Um, no. It can't.

"Jennifer is very well liked by her classmates and she interacts socially with those in her gym class during each activity."
-- She was very kind. I spent most of the time sitting on the bleachers talking about boys.

"Sometimes she talks or laughs a little too much."
-- everyone should have this problem.

"Jennifer's attitude is positive but her behavior has at times been described by her teachers as silly or distracting."
"She sometimes has trouble controlling her talking."
"Does like to talk quite a bit."
"Tends to socialize too much in class."
"Sometimes she is talkative, but usually settles down."
"She does like to talk, but she usually knows when to stop."
-- the password is... USUALLY

AND HERE'S TO THE ONE WHO GOT IT RIGHT:

"I think that her enthusiasm is one of her strongest assets. Perhaps we could focus on her energy."
-- God bless this woman, wherever she is.

Totally embarrassing

I'm putting this one up here because my girlfriends saw it for the first time last week and begged me to post it. Here I am meeting John Stamos when I was in, like, 5th grade. Please be kind. I was pretty cool back then for this! I'm not saying my hair or clothes were cool, but I was pretty hip. Okay, I was a nerd, but at least I'm cool now, which is more than I can say for a lot of you!! (and yes, that is a piece of flair on my ridiculous sweatshirt.)

2010 addendum: One of my co-workers saw this photo on my phone and made me email it to him. He used it as his iPhone wallpaper for MONTHS.

2013 addendum: I still love John Stamos, and I am going to tweet this to him and see if he retweets it.

Jesse and the Rippers 4eva

Dear Son

I wrote this in high school and found it today, so I thought I'd put it up here. I wrote it in the voice of a father writing a letter to his son. I remember it inspiring some tears among family members back then. Let's see if it's still got the juice to do it now :)

Dear Son,

Maybe it's too late to say all of the things I should have said while you were growing up. I hope it isn't. I have left so many things unsaid. I need to say them now. There are so many things you need to know.

As I waited with you at the bus station that warm August day, there were so many things I wanted to say to you, but you know me... the words wouldn't come. I looked over at you and saw you in your new suit, freshly pressed shirt, new shoes, and I felt such pride. I was proud to be your father. I still am. I was proud to have a son that was going to make something of his life. You have certainly done that. You have never let me down. I'm afraid I've let you down in many ways. I believe this is the first time I've ever told you how proud you make me feel.

I remember sitting with you that day. It was a long time ago. You were so excited about going to college, starting a new life. Your cheeks had the rosy glow of youth, and your eyes were full of anticipation. I wanted to tell you then how proud I was, but I didn't. I'm sure, in turn, you wanted to hear the words. Son, I'm sorry I couldn't say them then. I just figured you always knew.

I remember how Rusty looked that day. As we sat on the step of the old family car, Rusty lay his brown and black snout lovingly on your knee. He loved you so. That was his way of saying goodbye. He looked into the distance with you, sure something was out there. He knew you were scared. He knew you were excited. He showed his support just by being there, and I thought it was all right if I did the same. I now realize that you needed more than that. You needed my words... my love. You needed me, and I wasn't there for you. Rusty held you close, while I held you at a distance.

You looked so handsome on that day. You sat there poised, ready for anything, and yet you clutched the pink-ribboned care package your mother had put together the night before. It was almost as if you didn't want to let go. You didn't want to be out on your own, and yet you knew it was something that had to be done.

I remember sitting there, clutching your hat in my hands, ready to give it back to you when the bus pulled up at the curb. I, too, didn't want to let go. All I could think about was how young you looked; how fragile. I wanted to keep that hat with me forever so you couldn't get on the bus. That didn't happen. I handed that hat over to you as the bus stopped at the curb.

As you walked onto the bus that day, Rusty let out a whimper, again showing his unconditional love for you. I know it appeared as if I showed no emotion as you took that first step into the world. I know it must have hurt you when I quickly left, dragging Rusty with me back to the car. Son, if you could have only known the reason I had to leave in such a hurry...

There was a single tear falling silently from my face that day, and I didn't want anyone to see. As I got into the car I quickly wiped it away and said to myself, "I'm proud of you, Son."

I wish you could have heard it.

MEAT

I took this photo last night at Stop and Shop with my camera phone. Fergie and I decided to do our grocery shopping last night. This is what girls do. We go together. Moral support or some crap. I basically did somersaults in the aisles while Ferg did real, grown-up shopping. I think my whole family thought that one day I would grow up and actually act normal in stores. It hasn't happened yet. I still skip around, sing along to the songs, and put things back wherever I want. If I decide I don't want yogurt anymore, I'll leave it in the paper plate aisle. I don't know why I insist on acting like this.

In any case, I'm not sure why Stop and Shop has to advertise "MEAT" on the outside of their store. It's a grocery store. I think we're all aware that there will be some sort of meat product inside. Very strange.

I think Stop and Shop should also put up a sign alerting the general public to the fact that their Ben & Jerry's selection is covered in a thick layer of snow. I dug for my favorite flavor (Chubby Hubby) last night until I had frostbite on my toes. No dice. I would have appreciated that public service announcement: CHUBBY HUBBY COVERED IN SNOW. GO ELSEWHERE.

Well, at least I know where to buy my meat. If I bought meat, I would be very grateful.