I find it hard to believe no one on The Walking Dead has heard of a zombie
— Annemarie Brown (@AdmiralAkbrown) December 3, 2013
Buying a Christmas tree is the only time all year I talk to someone wearing a jean jacket.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) December 4, 2013
I bet when spiders put on seven shoes only to realize the eighth in the set is missing, they're just like, "Screw it," and leave anyway.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) December 4, 2013
Yeah, I'm gonna use two paper towels to dry my hands. I don't give a god damn if the Lorax is looking dead at me.
— Alison Agosti (@AlisonAgosti) December 5, 2013
Every night before bed I look at myself in the mirror and ask honestly, fearlessly, "Did you fucking crush it on LinkedIn today?"
— Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) November 13, 2013
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